Graceful Goodbyes and Professional Partings: A Freelancer's Guide to Concluding Client Relationships

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Welcome to the future is freelance podcast, the show for solar printers, digital nomads and slow meds, consultants, remote workers, residents and people living a life without traditional boundaries. We're here for everyone who defies categorization and makes a living and a life their own way. Every freelance Friday we bring you expert tips, inspired insights and stories from the frontiers of freelancing to help you achieve success with your borderless business, whatever success looks like to you as you live life on your own terms. So thank you for listening to the future is freelance and for being part of the future of work revolution. And today we're going to be discussing one of the often overlooked aspects of freelancing, maybe something you certainly don't think of at the beginning of a freelance relationship anyway. So I'm talking today about exits and ending. Of course, that's not the kind of thing we tend to go into any relationship, thinking about that one day all this will be over. But let's face it, even if you were in a long term employment contract or any other kind of relationship, to be honest, it has a season, it has a rhythm and in the freelance world in particular, really, things tend to be quite project driven and quite short term, even if the relationship is long term. Firstly, it's transactional. You're there to do something for somebody or you're there to collaborate on a thing together, and it tends to be project based. So the duration of that collaboration is often dictated by the work itself. If it's something really open ended, then it's more likely that they're going to hire an employee, whether full or part time. Of course, if you are coming together with a client to work on a freelance project, it tends to be something that's arranged much more quickly, much more ad hoc, sometimes quite urgently. There's less vetting on either side. And if you were going for, when you think about it, it might be something that's quite sensitive, quite senior, quite high stakes, but it's a one off, like they want you to create a website for them or write some copy for a white paper or something like that. If they were hiring ahead of content or ahead of IT, there'd be a really lengthy procedure where you go through several stages. You have your skills tested but more than anything else, you sound one another out for that long term fit. In terms of hiring freelancers, it tends to be much more about skills fit than cultural or personal fit. And then it can be that it evolves over time, that the relationship outlasts the project. You might work together again in future. You might become their go to person on a regular basis. But generally speaking, you tend to enter into a freelance relationship with less thoughtfulness, less consideration, less thought about the opportunity cost, maybe compared to what you would do if you were applying for a job somewhere, going through a lengthy application procedure which would probably involve several people on their side as well. So let's just remember that whenever we start working with a new freelance client is that you're not marrying them. You're not signing an employment contract with them. This is only ever meant to be temporary. So whilst I'm not saying that you have to begin every contract thinking how do I get out of this or what's this going to look like when it comes to an end, it is something that should always be at the back of your mind in the planning process, because you're just part of that relationship from day one, if you like. Now don't get me wrong. Long term clients are great. I'm really lucky that I work with some wonderful long term hires, people who they might not have something to do with me all the time, but they know that I'm their go to person when they need the kind of thing I can do and likewise I come to fairly well expect that there'll be a regular supply of work there, even though there's nothing contractual and you can make it contractual and if you have something like a retainer going on in the contract. But for the most part I don't tend to work with retainers. I've looked at lots of different retainer contracts and I've never seen one that really seems to satisfy what I think I would want it to say or offer in terms of what it does for both sides. That isn't there anyway in the right kind of relationship. I suppose I love the fact that I'm not having required to give 90 days notice or something, otherwise I might as well be an employee and similarly I know they're not obliged to give me any work next week. But I would rather build the relationship so that if there is a change coming up then I know I'll hear about it at least as soon as my key contact does. And frankly, the amount of turnover we've seen in some industries in the last 12 to 18 months or so just really goes to prove that there's nothing permanent in a contract. Anyway. People's arrangements can end like that, people can be out. So I would rather not have the expectation on me that there's any requirement here. Just make sure that it's a good, solid, individual relationship and that I'm their go to person. They get my top priority. If it's somebody I work with regularly and something else comes along and I haven't heard from my regular person, obviously I'll go to them first and say I just want to check, before I take on this other big job, whether you're likely to have any needs for me this month, particularly anything that's urgent, so that I can prioritize you, my regular person. And that's a great excuse for checking if they have gone quiet, because obviously you do have to manage that relationship differently. Other people come along and it's very clearly a one-off. They need something that's related to a product launch, for example, or they're going through a particular kind of transition, so they need consultancy to ease them through a change management process. That's never going to be regular work for that kind of thing, but it might turn out to be a regular relationship that they can then recommend me and so on. You need to approach every gig with some sense of am I building a long term thing here? Is it really just about this project, this deliverable? What's that got to look like at the end of it for us both to be happy that this was successful so that they might use me again. Well, they might at least recommend me. So I mean, most of my best client relationships have come about because of that one gig. Let's face it if you are hiring a freelance so you're not going to say to them, look, I'm going to be needing four articles a month for the year, because you absolutely now have no idea whether you want that person to write 48 articles for you, what you'll probably do, at least at the beginning, is de-risk it by saying let's do the first one or let's do the first month's deliverables, then we'll review, then we'll look at how it's working on both sides, then we'll start to strategize and plan for the rest of the year and see what we've both got coming up. But you should know from the outset my intention is to build out this publication and have a piece going out every week. So bear that in mind. But nobody's going to hire you for that at the very beginning. So what you need to do is really think about the outcome of the project in your lab, making sure that's as good as it possibly can be, and then you have choices further on down the line that put you in control of that relationship. Because one of the most important things when it comes to freelancing is the power of choice. And if you wanted to be an employee, then you'd be in a different kind of line of work, right? At least I think you would. You'd be looking for a job. You probably chose to freelance, whether you chose it or it chose you because you like that flexibility, you like that variety. Even if you freelancers are consultant on an interim basis, then you go into every relationship. It might be full time, but only for a fixed period, so you know exactly what your exit strategy is before you turn up on day one. So, suddenly, every freelance arrangement should be pinned down in writing. Now, whether that's by a legal contract, it might be something that they ask you to sign. Some freelancers won't move a muscle without an agreement in place. Other people will get started on a trial project to de-risk that whole relationship first before they then lock it down. If you have any concerns or questions about how you should be contracting with clients, then I strongly recommend you check out episode 16 of season three with Annabel Kay from Coffee Clatch. Her whole business model is based on helping freelancers, that's VA's in particular form the right kind of agreements with their clients to make sure that everybody's happy, nobody proceeds under any misunderstandings and so on, and the products they sell for use within the UK. But the common sense she speaks in this interview is absolutely universal. So I strongly recommend that you check out that episode. But in the meantime, there is a lot of common sense involved. Sometimes you might have a conversation on the phone about deliverables or deadlines or something like that, but in any case, make sure you immediately lock that down in writing with your client, even if it's just straight after the call. Quick email just wanted to set this down while it was clear in my mind, and then you've already put some boundaries on that relationship, on what you're going to do for one another, what the final deliverable is going to look like, and that effectively also sets the expectation for the ending not in a horrible way, but it's. This is the milestone. This is the thing that I have agreed as a freelancer to do for you, my customer. Once I've done that thing, this is what it's going to be like. You're going to be happy with it and then you're going to pay me the rest of my fee Because hopefully if it's a new client, you've definitely got that upfront start with. Of course you have right. Annabelle's interview makes extremely clear and I hope is common sense anyway is that you have to be a control of that agreement and if they've got things they want you to sign on their side, then do have a good look at the small print because occasionally you might find clauses in there that whenever really written for or about freelancing that might include things like notice periods or periods you've got to store their documents of all sorts of things that are left over from completely different kinds of contracts, often accidentally, because people download stuff and smooch stuff together to make documents that sound good and don't always get them legally checked and validated. So be careful not to sign anything that says you've got to give six months notice on a freelance gig, because if you sign it then you might find you're committed to something you never intended. And the only other thing on the contracts front I'll say as regards to endings is be extremely careful if anybody ever wants you to sign anything related to work with competitors because you are a freelancer, you are a business, you are not an employee. They do not own you Legally. It's actually very hard for them to enforce this. But you definitely need to talk about any misunderstandings early in your relationship. It's not up to them who you work for, even if they are competitors. If somebody wants to hire you, even for the duration that you're collaborating, if they want to say you don't work for any of our competitors, then you might be able to negotiate a rate which reflects that exclusivity. You want me to write one paper a month for you but you're saying I can't actually do any other work in my business because this is my niche. This is what I do is working with your competitors. Then you're going to have to pay me the equivalent of a full month's work plus an opportunity cost for the damage it might do to those relationships. So by and large, those kind of non-competes are completely inappropriate for any kind of freelance contract. Get it checked legally if you have any doubt, because the cost of not doing so could be substantially more than the cost of getting an hour's legal advice and just making sure. But you should have red flags going off in your head anywhere you see anything about working with competitors and the worst kinds of employment contract will try and stop you doing so, even for a period after your engagement. You definitely cannot go anywhere near that with a barge pole when you're freelancing. This is just a freelance gig. This is a short term relationship. It's transactional. At the end of the day, they pay your bills, but they do not own your time, they do not own your expertise, your creativity and they certainly do not own your future. So make quite certain that you don't proceed under any misunderstandings. Getting this stuff clear at the start will set you up for a much better freelancing relationship. In any case, where you have clear expectations you'll have, you learn a lot about how they communicate and they'll learn how you prefer to communicate, and it really gets things off to a very solid start if you have these conversations in good time. So, even if you've done everything right, then why? Why would things end in a freelance relationship? Well, as I said, the first thing is that sometimes the project just comes to an end. It's nothing else to do. They don't actually need a website developer anymore because their website's great, you've done all the work. Or they don't need a branding designer because their brand is nailed and they might come back to you in a year or two for a review. Indeed you'd be the first person they ask. But it's just come to an end, that's fine. You can both just shake hands, or shake hands, virtually, walk away from that relationship with your dignity. But what if it doesn't seem to be ending or you want to end it? What if the relationship has reached a point where you just want to move on, for whatever reason? And there can be lots of reasons. And the funny thing here is that some of the biggest reasons are actually really easy. You know, there's no wondering should I Maybe wrap up this relationship with this client who's trying to get me to break the law or go against my ethical principles, or is becoming such a complete pain that I never want to see them again? That's easy. You can just decide to end it then and then. But it's often harder when a relationship with a client isn't working out but you're not quite sure if it's bad enough. And when I say relationship with a client, I think you can draw pretty concrete analogies of any kind of relationship, whether it's a romantic one, business partnership, a family relationship. All sorts of things can deteriorate and get to the stage where you're not sure who the problem is or where the problem is. You just know that there is one, even if it's a combination of little reasons, one of them on their own you might be able to live with, to work with, to resolve, but when you aggregate them it really becomes unbearable. So that's a good thing Unbearable. So there are certain things to look out for that might mean you have to consider ending a freelance relationship, perhaps sooner than you wanted to. One of the biggest red flags for me is scope creep, because what can happen is you have that wonderful conversation at the very beginning. You're absolutely clear that this is what you're going to do for them. That's great. You're going to have newsletter copy ready for them by Wednesday evening every week, because they have also agreed that they will get the briefing material to you by Monday morning. And you're determined to hit your deadlines because you're a freelancer and you're juggling with other clients and you set aside Monday afternoon to work on that newsletter. And then the brief doesn't come and then you're up against it and you're chasing them on Tuesday. I have a deadline for you tomorrow and it's still not come. And then suddenly they send it you Wednesday afternoon and then they're knocking on your door at the end of the day saying where's, where's my copy? Well, I haven't had time to do it because I do work for a different client on Wednesday or I do something else. That's none of your business. This is when scope creep becomes an issue. Or you give them back the newsletter on Wednesday and you're done, but then they come back to oh sorry, I meant to give you this and I forgot. Can you just insert this section? This section's been written by somebody else and translated from another language. Can you just kind of blend in and all these things which then start to extend what they're asking you to do for them now? Now, obviously there's give and take, right, you happen to have a reason why you need to extend that deadline to Thursday morning One week, because you have a personal problem or appointment going on or you're traveling. They understand, they push back, they have an issue with their publishing platform and they can't get the material to you once and you communicate about it. You agree, that's fine. You've worked together for half a year and this is just the stuff that you do, covering for each other, not a problem. The problem is when it gets one sided and it escalates, and that's why we get the word creep in, scope creep, because it's never anything big. It's like that boiling frog metaphor of sort of one degree of pressure adding each time. You sort of get used to it and you're not quite sure where you're getting more and more uncomfortable and until suddenly or just basically cooked and the relationship is boiling over. So these are this is something to be very aware of when you're trying to work out what might be going wrong. Scope creep can often combine with the problem of boundaries, because I love it and I'm happy to say that some of my freelance clients I really do consider friends. They're people. I would send the WhatsApp on their birthday or ask them how that pitch went in the middle of the night and I, you know, I know them and I care about them, but we, we keep the business stuff separate and they would never message me about a project in the middle of the night. You know they'll message me in the evening to check how my kids medical appointment went, but not to ask how that white papers and, if necessary, say friendship for later. Remember, freelancing, temporary ultimately, and while you're working together, you really do need to get the boundaries on the work. So that's another red flag that could be waiting at you. Possibly payment issues is another reason for considering ending a relationship, and I don't mean the kind of clients who Pay late if they always pay late but they always pay, especially if they're perhaps part of a larger organization and they're just stuck with a net 60 payment cycle or whatever that they can't do anything about, but it's it's the ones that are flaky about paying at all or trying to haggle with you. Trying to negotiate down. Trying to. It can be very much linked to scope creep. Well, yeah, I asked you to do that extra thing, but I assume that was included. Oh, what do you mean? It's not, or could we take this out? Could we take that out? When you add up the extra time you spend on those conversations, actually you should be charging them way more than they're trying to beat you down anyway, and that can lead to the final category of red flag. That, for me, is a reason to end a relationship with a client, and that's the kind of negativity and negative energy. I love to bring my full creative joy to everything I do. I'm not saying every project I do is just unbridled, unleashed creative pleasure. Of course it's not. But when you're doing it. For somebody who cares about what you're producing, who respects your time, who is interested in you, who is great to talk to, to be around. You can put up with a lot, but there are other people who, just as soon as they enter the room, physically or metaphorically, seem to suck all the energy out of it. And those people it's not always immediately obvious if they're on their best behavior at the beginning of a relationship, but you soon get to know who they are and, believe me, for me, I can't work long term successfully if people continually drain my energy. So for me, that, particularly in combination with any other red flag, is a moment to end it. It's like being in a dance Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow, if the music just isn't right, though eventually you just find you keep falling over your feet and there's something in this relationship that isn't working, and one of you has to take the initiative to step away or just wait for the song to end. So what are you gonna do? Are you gonna just sit this one out? Can you fix it? Maybe you can find some way to communicate better. Maybe you can sort things out If you've already decided that things have reached a point where they're bad enough that you're considering ending it, then I would say it's always worth one try to fix it. If you think it's something that can be fixed the negative energy thing it's gonna be really hard. But if it's something like scope creep, where you think there might be a genuine misunderstanding about your workflow or about what's involved, then it's worth another shot. You know a lot of us freelancers. We are professionally, we are communicators. This is what we're supposed to be good at. So to simply walk away without a fight and not trying to fix it, I think that would be a shame if there's anything good about the relationship. So, if there's nothing to lose, why not get on a call with them, get on a video call? I mean, if you're gonna end it, I'm gonna suggest that you actually do that in writing, but if you're gonna do that anyway, then it's certainly worth a call before it. You know, unless you're feeling so intimidated or overwhelmed by them, in which case just goes straight to the written notice you don't owe them anything. If it's something about their behavior, as opposed to their character or what they're like as a person, then if you like the work and you would like to continue with it, then I would suggest it's well worth a shot at trying to fix it. People can change their behavior. Sometimes that behavior is driven by incomplete information or a misunderstanding and miscommunication, and that can be put right. If it's just that they're really dodgy and they're trying to encourage you to do something you're not comfortable with, or they're just a pain to be around, or they'll never respect your boundaries, you're not going to change that, so you might as well go straight to letting them know, and it's not on you to fix it Right. It is okay to let people go. When might it not be okay? Well, really, only for your own reasons. As a freelancer, it is up to you. You know, if you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation where you're not finding joy in your work, no one else is going to fix it for you. You can't go to HR or ask your line manager to sort this, but you don't have to follow anybody's advice or guidance either. You can literally step away from it, and so long as you're not breaching anything that you have agreed to contractually which is why I wanted to talk about that at the beginning of this piece then you can just do it. You can just put your email together and call it off. The only time you might struggle with this is if you really depend on that client financially. And this is really about managing your business overall and managing your pipeline. And I will only say you see this happen in employment relationships. You see it happen in romantic relationships, god knows. We all know people who are staying in the wrong relationship for financial reasons and it's heartbreaking and actually it's very hard for them to fix it from within, because until they're out of whatever's that oppressive situation is, it's hard to find the headspace, the motivation to look for something better. As freelancers, we must never, ever fall into that trap, and we have a much better chance of avoiding it anyway, because even if they're a substantial client, they're an important client, they're a prestigious client and they represent a big chunk of our income. They don't represent all of it. Otherwise, you're not freelancing, you're doing a job, so there will always be something else you can fall back on. You can try to. If you know that you're going to end a relationship in a couple of months, you can try to reduce your spending and save a bit of a buffer as well, but in the meantime, you can really ramp up your business development. Try and build your pipeline. Try and find time, rather than finding time to agonise about this client and what to do with them, start thinking about the exit strategy straight away. Well, what am I going to replace them with what? If I look at these hours that I spend, this is the income it brings in. What else could replace that, and how can I start building that? How can I clone the clients that I love, as opposed to trying to fix the ones I really don't? And that's good advice in life in general, I think. But so start thinking about that, because you should never feel trapped in a freelance relationship simply because of the money. Otherwise, that balance of power of equal professionals and collaborators are somehow got away out of work. If they started to be more like they own you and control you financially, you just do not want to be there. So really think about that one and make sure that you've got your own plan in place and keep your pipeline full. Never stop marketing, never stop prospecting, and then you'll be able to walk away with a bit of class when you're ready. So that's the final thing we need to talk about. The world is smaller than we think in the digital age in particular, in whatever niche you work in professionally, you do need to keep some dignity here and walk away with grace and, hopefully, with your professional relationship intact, even if you're absolutely certain you never, ever want to even speak to this person again, never mind work for them. They know people, they talk to people. They don't always tell the truth to people. So you need to find a way, especially if you're going to control this process, which is what I heartily recommend. You're going to instigate it and see it through then you need to think about how do I keep this really dignified, really professional, do it with grace, so that everybody walks away with this with their dignity intact. So you need to think about what you owe them. Do you owe them notice, either contractually or morally? You know they're expecting you to finish this newsletter cycle or whatever. Then think about okay, I'm going to wrap this up in three months, so how many weeks notice do I need to give them out of that? How are they going to get that piece of work done in the future, that deliverable? Of course, that's not your problem, but you might want to offer them a recommendation. Maybe I don't know the scope of this podcast production has grown so extensively due to our successful collaboration that in future, I think you might find it more appropriate to collaborate with an agency and have a partnership of a team of people working to get this done for you, rather than one person who is cracking up under the strain. You wouldn't say that last bit, but find a way to maybe give them an exit as well, to suggest something that might solve their problems in a different way, in a better way. What do you need from them? Obviously, hopefully, you're going to walk away from this without with all your bills paid. Definitely, so you can make sure that if you are putting this email together saying you know my final deliverable will be on this date, my final invoice will be raised on this date to cover this period. If you think there's going to be some issue with that final payment, you could even at this point say something along the lines of once that invoice is settled, then I will hand off all the passwords or all the. If you have got any leverage like that, you might or might not have, depending on the kind of deliverable that you're contracted to supply. One question about endings that sometimes comes up, and I know this happens in employment too is how honest you should be in terms of what information you give them. If they say to you and this can happen, oh, you know, this is completely out of the blue. I thought we were going to collaborate on this thing long term. I thought we were really happy together. What's gone wrong Then? How? How much do you need to share with them? That's up to you, I think, and I think you need to bear in mind what you want out of this. You could probably do a lot to make things better for the next person that they work with, but that's not entirely your responsibility. If it's more important to you that you have an accessible reference, somebody who will speak up for you, then perhaps the reason that you give them for ending your relationship isn't going to be the complete one, or even a wholly accurate one, because you're never going to tell them the real reason if it's personal, whereas if it's a friend and you feel they're making some bad decisions, maybe you can share with them. I would encourage you to always be as brief as you can. It's a little bit like when people are going for a job interview, and it used to be that the interviewer would. If they said no, they would be able to give them frank feedback. And now it's really hard to get any feedback from an interviewer in that situation because there's just no control on then how that feedback is going to be perceived and acted upon, and it's better to just keep things really, really generic and sorry. My workload has just increased to the point where I can't commit to this any longer. I'm having to reduce my hours. I have personal reasons. You don't actually owe them a reason at the end of the day, and if it helps to keep things professional and keep things clean, then I really wouldn't volunteer information about what an ass they've been to deal with lately or how much they're stressing you out or they're making you ill. None of that is actually needs to be shared with them. You're going to put this all in writing anyway. I strongly suggest, even if you have done it on a call, you then need to put the dates, the deliverables, the terms and everything into an email and could you just confirm you got this okay and that I haven't missed anything or anything else you need to know, to encourage a quick reply, because that kind of stamps its arrival not legally, but just in both of your hearts and minds and then keep referring to it if you need to, if they seem to be in some kind of denial about your exit. Remember, this is the last edition of this newsletter that I'm working on with you, so do let me know who to hand off the graphics files to as soon as you've paid my last invoice. If you need to say that, I know some of them, you will, so maybe keep them focused on that and hopefully you're going to end that with a really good feeling that you both walk away. You've both moved on to other things. They will be somebody that you can turn to for a reference. You will be somebody that they might be happy to recommend for somebody for another phase of their business. It's a small world. Your industry, your niche is going to be smaller than the world. You will bump into one another online again, inevitably, perhaps face to face at an event. You'll have nothing but respect and a reason to look each other in the eye. So that's basically what operating your freelancing as a business is all about. You're juggling. One ball has to be thrown into the corner of the room, you pick up another. They're all in the air anyway. It's not about your job security, it's income security. So, making sure you've got multiple streams, you've got things in your pipeline, you're confident, you're not desperate. You're always on the lookout for the next opportunity and it just doesn't happen to be with them. Because freelancing is a journey. There are hello's, there are goodbyes. You're a business of one brand and you're the captain of your ship. What you're choosing to specialise in. One year, where your personal interests are going, where your expertise is growing, it could be that you've had to change your rates because you simply developed a more of a specialism and do something, or you've acquired a new certification. There's all sorts of reasons why it's simply not appropriate to carry on doing that work with that person at that moment. So you don't want to burn bridges, you just want to build new ones onto the next stage of your life. Start with the end in mind when you begin that relationship. Make sure you know what's going to replace it at some point before too long. Prepare for anything and then you won't be surprised and you'll always, always be able to exit with grace. And we've all had these endings. I've had plenty in my time. Some of them I referred to here, some of them I never will, but I would love to hear from you. If you've had to end a client relationship, I would be really interested in hearing about it from you. You can tweet me, or whatever that's called these days. You can send a message at futureisfreelancexyz. There is a contact form. There is also a voicemail form and it would be really wonderful to hear some of these stories about how you've ended a client relationship, why. If you feel you can share that, you're welcome to be as anonymous as you like, and because I do fully understand that some of this is going to be a little bit sensitive If you've learned something by ending a client relationship, then I'm sure other listeners of Future of Freelance will find that really, really valuable to hear about. And in the meantime, if you do one thing this week, then just have a look at the relationship in your freelancing that's causing you the most stress and grief and just do a thought exercise. I encourage you to think what if this one wasn't there? How would I feel about that? What if they ditched me tomorrow? Would I be relieved? Would I be devastated? What would I replace it with? What space would that create, possibly, for something better to come along? So I'll leave that thought with you Until next Freelance Friday. Thanks very much for listening and make sure to change the world and make sure the future is Freelance. Don't forget you can check out all our back episodes from other seasons and learn more over at futureisfreelancexyz. We're so grateful not only for our listeners, but for the contributions of our wonderful guests and for the production and marketing assistance of coffee like media. This is Maya Midlemish, wishing you Freelance Freedom and Happiness until our next show.